the F-side

When I was in the primary school, even trying, I couldn't social connect with anybody of my class, at the breaks I used to sit on the stairs and look to the light. I remember that one day I wrote at the board of the classroom: "Today I do not speak." I sank into silence. Now I can understand it, that day I was screaming. The words at the board were only an invitation to annoy me, to make me speak, to make them search me. I didn't success.

Previously on EFFYMINE: In this world, divided and multiplied, with inner worlds and complex relations, and wrong concepts, a woman was transformd in her own secret. // She know the danger, the terrible thing... // Elizabeth wants to live better endings. // She started a process, she is going to start a career. // "I must forget him, must quite before of what I planned." //  She is going to leave Mr H. 

Today, Episode nº17: Infinite points... (the F-side)

Quitting a job for avoid keep seeing a persons can be understood as something childish, just like any act that could be interpretated as an escape. Elizabeth had decided wait the right moment to quit, and while one of her bosses thought that the reason of her leaving was relationed to her new studdies, Elizabeth couldn't find words to explain what is her real problem. "I know that it sounds silly, but I'm afraid." she said, and the boss offered her to change the schedules for she to have more time to study. "I'm going to think about it." she adds.
What is Elizabeth afraid of? "I want to do the right." she reapets over and over again.
What is the right? A same act can be the answer if you analize the situation from one side only. By the side of Elizabeth, stop seeing Mr H is a preventive measure for not get mad in the silence, and for that she must quit. From the side of the world, quit to a job without explaining what  is happening, it is illogical, unfear and stupid. How is it on the side of her boss? What is the right on the side of Mr H? Elizabeth would like to be inside those heads, and also would like them to be inside her head, and there wouldn't have nothing to talk about. The words are unnecessary in a world of total knowledge. If sides just disappear... surly life would be less interest, but would be all so simple... and this side is so lonely! Are the other sides so lonely too?
What are you goning to do, Elizabeth? Are you going to tell him that you love him? Are you going to quit to your job? Are you going to forget what you are feeling? Are you going to try to not analize all from that side where you are so alone, where you think that the only thing you deserve is to continue alone? You have time, there's time yet.
Your bosses trust in you, or that is what they say. Your fathers love you, or that's what they say. And until the world isn't of total knowledge, they better keep saying that, because words are the only think we can get to know from those sides where we aren't. Elizabeth, speak!

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