I used to play alone. I remember a day, at my grandmother's home, I jumped from out of couch to couch in a great adventure where I challenged my little body to keep balance. In a jump I felt and I got hurt my face, making my nose bleeding. That day I left that house, and I was not able to give a kiss to my grandma because I had to hold a cotton ball. That was the last time I saw her, a few weeks later she passed away. So, the last time I saw her I couldn't say goodbye for a stupid cotton ball.
Previously on EFFYMINE: She started a process, she will start a career. // Good and bad things are going to happen. // Asking isn't enough, but it is better that do not ask nothing. // Elizabeth is not passive anymore, she is commited with her life. // She doesn't want to live or to die, she just wants to keep growing. // She knows the danger, the terrible thing... // She is not going to kill herself. // "It is time already".
Today, Episode nº21: Revival. (Finally F!)
She breathes, she is breathing. She closes her eyes and can see herself. She closes her eyes and can walk backwards in her life, and revival those moments she already lived. She can see the last time she felt a deep happiness, the last time she cried with anger. Now she sees the last New Year, and the previous one. She sees when she started to work where she works, and sees when she still didn't work at all. She sees her last high school's year, her last primary school's year. She sees the last time she saw her grandmother alive. She stills walking backwards. She can remember infinite details of her life, can read them like when you read again a old book that you never back to read since the first time you did it, just the parts marks, and go in backwards. Elizabeth is almost there where it would be the first pages, in the moment that she was inside the womb, she was not yet formed., y su madre estaba bañandose, so her sister with a few years, started to laugh. She ponit the place where Elizabeth was starting to exist, and she said: "mum has a penis in the stomach".
That would be the first page of what will be the rest of her life.
And now she walks forward and sees again the same moments, and she can see the coffin of her grandmother. She sees her first year at primary school, her first year at high school. She sees the beginning of a great year... this is near to the now.
Elizabeth does not need to keep going with her mind, does not need to see the operations, the career, the nexts month or year, does not need to go far. She just opens her eyer.
She opens her eyes and nothings cares to her... Elizabeth can see herself, and no cotton ball will stop her until she finally be F, be Femme, be Effy, be her herself.
Go to the next episode: Episode 22 (the end)
That would be the first page of what will be the rest of her life.
And now she walks forward and sees again the same moments, and she can see the coffin of her grandmother. She sees her first year at primary school, her first year at high school. She sees the beginning of a great year... this is near to the now.
Elizabeth does not need to keep going with her mind, does not need to see the operations, the career, the nexts month or year, does not need to go far. She just opens her eyer.
She opens her eyes and nothings cares to her... Elizabeth can see herself, and no cotton ball will stop her until she finally be F, be Femme, be Effy, be her herself.
Go to the next episode: Episode 22 (the end)
